Dayton, Ohio -- I'm amazed at the number of solicitation letters I get that begin, "Dear Mr. Tim Bete." That's as friendly as a letter from the IRS. Use "Dear Mr. Bete" or even "Dear Tim." Act like you know your donors. If your database can't handle different salutations, fix it or find another database.
Also, don't use "Dear friend..." when addressing donors. You're supposed to know them and be in an ongoing relationship with them. If you don't know someone's name, it's difficult to say that you're their friend.
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